All About Lola!!

                          My Divine Appoinment!!!

In my previous article, “A Divine Appointment”, I started the story of Lola, my divine appointment. Now, we begin with the rest of that particular Sunday.

Lola had entered into the chart room to have a cup of coffee with me. Not exactly, what we normally do. Most days were spent, encouraging activities of daily living. Remember, prior to her catatonic day, Lola had not allowed me to hug her. But, since that day, I hugged her quickly as I buzzed up and down the unit taking care of patients. When she had those severe manic episodes she would come to me for help. She didn’t have to grab me like she did the first day. I have to wonder that first day she grabbed me what she saw in my eyes or spirit. Maybe, she instinctively knew, I was there for her.

Communication with Lola was never of any depth like conversation only short simple requests and grunts. But, this particular day, she seemed different. She asked me, “What are you doing?” I had prepared her a cup of coffee, she was sitting there watching me chart.  She seemed lucid to me. A space, I had never seen her. She wanted me to talk with her.

I laid my chart down, and said “Lola, where are you from?” She said, I am from such and such town. I laughed loudly! “There is no! way you are from where I am from”, I said. Again, I said, “there is no way you even know where that is!!!!!”

She became quite loud, ” I am from there and I do know where that is!!!!

Please remember, I had read all of the medical archives on each of the 38 patients on the unit. Not anywhere in Lola’s chart did it speak of my hometown!!!! So I proceeded to explain to her why I thought that. She said, “But, I have only been in this hospital 8 years. Which explained, I had seen records for the last 8 years.

Lola began her story as perfectly clear as anyone ever tells there life story!!! I sat in awe!! You will too!!

Lola told me who she had married, and that she had 3 children. After, her 3rd child she had a hysterectomy. Then, she developed Bipolar or Manic/Depressive Disorder. I have to believe it occured by the sudden change in hormones and there was no therapy at that time. She said, her husband kept her home as long as he could, but when he couldn’t handle her, she was transferred to a Psychiatric Hospital.  Her medical records said she had become Lithium toxic so I guess that is the only treatment that was used at that time.  I was just a child at that time so I have no idea!!

Lola didn’t expound whether she had visits, but I knew of none in that last 4 months. She had been transferred to our facility 8 years ago, probably because of the bazaar manic episodes that I described in my previous article. Unlike anything I have seen before or since that time.

Just to test her, I began to ask who she would have known from my home. The oldest relative I had was a second cousin, that currently lived with my Mother. She was well into her 90s. Her eyes lit up and she said “Well, yes, I know her!!” I said to myself!! Yeah right!!

Lola said, “Let me tell you a story. I used to work with the local doctor when he delivered babies.”  “One day we went to a home, the lady delivered, and hemorrhaged. The doctor rushed in the room with the mother and left me in the kitchen with the baby on the counter.”  “The baby quit breathing!” “I didn’t know what to do, so I ran cold water in a bucket and dunked the baby in that cold water, she gasped and started breathing!!”

Even though this was a fantastic story, I am speaking with a woman who is never lucid. So, I guess I thought she was making this story up!!!

But, she proceeded to tell me that was my cousin’s niece who had the baby and the baby did live. She called the mother by name!!! All the time, I am thinking this cannot be!!!

The description of my hometown was very accurate. I did know the family she was talking about very well because they were my distant cousins. But, had never heard the circumstances about their only daughter who was handicapped but truly the love of their life. She lived in a wheelchair and probably had the mentality of an 8 year old all of her life. But, that was their baby!!! Lola was the reason their baby lived!!!

Here I am working in a basement, locked ward in a Psychiatric facility, 4 or 5 hours from my birthplace, listening to a story from a woman that definitely had been put in my life. I was in awe, still doubtful, but still astounded how all the circumstances of my life, had brought me right to her.

I wasn’t even sure this woman had children!!! So, we pulled her medical record, there were 3 people listed as her emergency contacts. I showed her, she proceeded to tell me the top one was her oldest daughter, the middle one was her second child, the last listing was a man,  she said that was her son. Since, I had never seen Lola have one truly lucid day since the 4 months I had worked with her, I asked, “Do you want to call your children?”

Lola was delighted!!  We started with the oldest, I made the call, explained in my most professional way, who I was and who was wanting to talk to her. She agreed to talk with her mother.  This lady sounded very old!!! I did not listen but a short chat then they hung up. Again, I dialed the second daughter answered, she sounded clearer and younger. They had a short chat!!

The final call did not go as well!!! I called the son’s number, explained who I was!! The gentlement, said, “My mother is dead, is this a joke?”  I responded, “Sir, this is no joke, your mother is sitting right here beside me.” Lola talked with her son, I guess for the first time in 28 years.  I may have messed up his world and not sure if he ever believed me, but I kept reminding myself, I am here for Lola!!!

Soon, after the phone calls, Lola silently, got up and left the nurses’ station. I was stunned from the events of the day and curious if this story were all true!!!

Christmas came and I headed to my Mom’s for our usual celebration. Everyone had left on Christmas Day to do something. I was sitting at the kitchen table with my elderly second cousin, who my Mom cared for in her home.

She wasn’t a chatty cathy type person so there was an uncomfortable silence before I could even get up the guts to ask the question.

I looked her and said, “Minnie, you know, I take my career very serious. I would never break confidentiality about a patient!!” She assured me she knew that. I explained that a patient had shared an unbelievable story with me I needed to validate it was true.  Honestly, I thought Lola had made the story up from her confused mind just to entertain me on that day.   Yet, I still wasn’t sure how she knew all about my hometown.

I conveyed the whole tale to Minnie.  She looked at me and said, “That story is absolutely true!! I didn’t even know Lola was still living. No sooner than I had gotten the story out of my mouth, the backdoor opened and in walked Minnie’s niece and with her the very daughter, in her wheelchair, that Lola had saved at birth.  They came to visit her Aunt Minnie on Christmas Day.  By now, I wandering around in my head going, really? This is too much to believe!!!

Later, I drew Minnie’s niece aside and relayed the story to her. She buried her face in her hands and just sobbed!!!  Through, her sobs, she said I thought Lola was dead. She excitedly stated I want to send her pictures of my daughter. I tried to explain that Lola barely was aware of her surroundings most days but I would try to explain if she sent them

2 1/2 months later, I walked onto the unit and the staff came running. Lola has had an aneurysm and is unconscious. The doctors gave her a very short time to live.  Cory and I suffered through the day, because yes, we both loved Lola. My shift ended at 3 pm, but I did not leave and neither did Cory. At 7 pm, that evening we both agreed we were doing nothing, Lola never woke up. She passed that night to her heavenly body.  28 years after entering an Institution, she had one lucid day to finish her work, and I was assigned to help her do that!!! The pictures of the woman she had saved as an infant came a week later. Of course, she would not have known who that was or remember she even told me the story. Because, she drifted off in her world right after she left the nurse’s station that day.

After my assignment with Lola, I fell in to a deep depression. I spoke with my Director and she assured me I was depressed. I can’t remember the names of the other patients because I was there for one. I left that hospital 4 months later. Care of the long term Psychiatric patient is hard because there is no hope!!! I admired the 5 CNAs who committed their lives to providing care on that unit. They were some of the best employees I have ever seen in all the years of working in Nursing.

I am not sure why I have been inspired to write this story at this time. I have had several sleepless nights about this. Maybe, Lola wanted her story told. Of course, the names have been changed and I left out locations on purpose. You can call this fiction that is fine!!! But, since that time, I am certain my life has been divinely guided!!!

One thing you need to know that I learned in training for my assignment on that unit. My Instructor said, “statistics show that only 20 percent of psychiatric patients are truly chemically ill. The rest can be helped,  if they choose, but some give up and choose that route. If this story helps one person to seek help, then it has been worth it to spend this day.  God Bless The Souls like Lola, who lived in a time, there was no medicine to help her.

 

 

I still help people look at my website: http://www.charlenekelley.com

 

A Divine Appointment

Terror gripped my body as the female, elderly, psychiatric patient stepped around the linen cart and grabbed both of my wrists in her hands. She pulled me close and peered deep into my eyes. She was nonverbal because her swollen tongue protruded out of mouth and rolled around much like a cow’s tongue. I tugged to free my arms but she only gripped tighter and my hands grew numb.

The 14 years of experience as an RN and the intense orientation for Unit Director on a long term psychiatric unit still had not prepared me for such a situation. This was my first day orientation on the unit where I would be working. I was making my first rounds to put faces with the 38 patients that I had learned about by reading archived medical files for days.

As, I stood there starring into the face of the worst manic episode a patient can have, I wondered what have I done, taking such a job!! I did not know but she was my divine appointment and the reason I was there!!!

It seemed like I would never free myself from her grip, but a kind, black orderly stepped to my side. I will call him Cory.  Cory began to pry the lady’s fingers from my wrist.  He gently said to me, “You will learn to love Lola, I love her!”  I kind of miffed at him, as I walked to the Nurse’s station and closed the gate beyond where no patient was allowed. I thought to myself, I seriously doubt, I will love Lola!!! She scared me half to death!!!

My wrists still had red finger marks as I followed the LPN around listening to our duties. I don’t think I heard much because my mind kept wondering how I got here!!

Many times we think we are totally in control or our lives!! Well, I am here to assure you I learned differently. Yes, I know our thoughts directly relate to what we create!! Yes, I believe we create our own lives. But, there are really no coincidences in where we go and who we meet.

Let’s start back a bit in my life!! I guess my life has always been a roller coaster with blocks, twists and turns. We will only venture back 32 years!!

I had this friend who never went out to a bar!  She called to ask if I would accompany her to see her nephew play in a band. It turned out it was in a dive bar, that I would never enter at night, but we went anyway.  We kept our gaze on the stage because we stuck out in the crowd. This young gentlemen approached our table and began to talk.

I can’t explain exactly how. but he pursued me heavily after that and I guess we fell in Love. I tell you this because he became a key player in getting me to meet Lola.

I was dealing with dysplasia at the time and needed treatment but I lived alone, worked two jobs. How could I afford to be off work and take care of myself. My daughter had moved to my Mom’s after my Father died. Our life had been one of turmoil after his death.

At any rate, I ended up marrying that guy under the pressure that he would take care of me through treatments for my illness. Whew, what a ride that turned out to be!!!

I worked at a clinic and a kind elderly doctor filled in for our full time docs when they vacationed. Dr. A became a close friend and I learned so much from him. He was 50 years my senior and taught me all the old ways to examine patient’s. It was a spiritual connection between us. In fact, we kept in touch, until his passing when he was around 85. He too, became an instrument in my meeting with Lola.

Dr. A, made a recommendation to an adminstrator 4 hours from where I lived, that I would I be great for his new Director of Nursing for a huge multispeciality clinic being built. In July, that year, I received a lovely letter from Mr. P inviting me to take the job. Now, why would I take a job 4 ours away? I filed it away and forgot about it.

But, out of the blue, my new husband said one day, I want to go back to my home. It was not real far from where I had been offered that job. He was pretty determined to go with or without me!

So, yes, I took the job, helped build a multispecialty clinic, learned Occupational Health and recruited many doctors to that clinic. My career took off there!!! I met many great people and experienced some amazing things while there.

As good as that was, there was trouble brewing in my home. My husband began to exhibit episodes that turned into abuse!! I took on more jobs to make ends meet. Even one with a children’s psychiatric hospital.

Then, Mr. P, retired, not good for me. The new administrator and old medical director changed my job and I not longer was happy. I had two part time jobs but talked my office manager into driving me over to the Psychiatric Hospital to pick up and application.

Now, I had not done well in Psychiatric training as a student. I trained in that same facility and my instuctor always made fun that I turned as white as my uniform everytime I was in group with the male patients. But, I thought I was mature enough with my 14 years experience. After all they were offering more pay and less hours.

My husband had begun to complain that my clinic job did not pay well and kept me away from home too much.

Our first attempt in getting an application, was hilarious. I got out of the car, but on the way to the front door of the Psychiatric hospital and patient was walking on the lawn. He started to follow me, scared out of my wits, I ran got back the car and we raced away.

Weeks later, my irritating boss pushed me a bit too far. Again my office manager, drove me to get an application at the Psychiatric Hospital. I was hired around 3 weeks later.

These are only a few of the twists that made me end up on a unit of a long term psychiatric facility with Lola.  Over the next 4 months, I saw Lola go through many cycles of manic-depressive disorder or some call it Bi-polar Disease. Yes, I learned to love her!!  Her Manic phases were severe, with the swollen rolling tougue and prolapsed rectum. But, she learned to come to me when they started so I could give her an injection the doctor had granted for me to calm her down. 

The depressed states were severe too!!! One day, I came in to a totally catatonic Lola. I had never seen it. She sat perfectly still and you could move her arm up, it would just stay there. Much like a doll when you move her arms. She didn’t walk, eat, make sounds or move. She just starred into space!! The position you put her in, that is where she stayed.

Her general personality, was she didn’t want to be touched, hugged or any kind of affection. She could talk but nothing coherent except when she ask for coffee. She would follow commands but all around just not super interactive.

Well, on catatonic day, I decided, I would teach Lola about hugging. She couldn’t push me away so I hugged her everytime I went by her. Usually, she would growl and shove me but that day, I hugged her all I wanted. Magically, after the catatonic phase passed. She would allow me to hug her.

The doctors liked my inquisitive mind, they allowed me to test supplements and alternative ways on Lola to see if we could help her to be better. I don’t know if you ever saw the movie “Awakenings” with Robin Williams, but the results were the same.  After,3 weeks she would go right back to cycling through her Manic/Depressive states.

Things were rough at home, individual counseling, marriage counseling and for a bit some better.  I became anorexic trying to deal with this home situation. Then, the diagnosis for my husband, Borderline Personality Disorder. Counselor said, “There is not treatment and the best advice for me was to get away from him.”  Well, with the counseling there were some good months, then late November. He had an episode. I ran that night but 25 minutes into my drive, said, “This is it!  Went back calmly, we made the decision we would divorce. In early Dec. he left. I didn’t tell anyone, just rested, prayed and worked.  That player’s part in this scenario was over!! In his defense, he was adopted and didn’t know he had a mental illness. I just think he was the guide to get me to Lola. 

One Sunday, just before Christmas, I was the only nurse on the Unit. I was in the charting room back of the Nurse’s station. Lola came to the gate and asked, “Can I come in and have a cup of coffee with you? Against the rules, but I loved her and let her in to sit with me in the back room. From here, you will need to read the next segment. All About Lola, My Divine Appointment!!!!

 

 

Learn How I Still Help People!!  http://www.charlenekelley.com

 

 

 

 

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Vitamin D-What It Can Mean To Your Health!!!

It is so important that everyone read this article!!!

themindofkitty

 

  1. I got interested in Vitamin D when we discovered that my brother was deficient in this vitamin. A man that worked outside cutting wood was not producing any Vitamin D!!! So, I began to research on the subject!! I even went to training by Dr. Norm Shealy. He pounded the use of Vitamin D with heart patients. That may be when we began to question my brother’s deficiency, I do not recall!!

    I don’t expect you to believe me about Vitamin D!!   I do recommend you do some research if you have any of the symptoms or family history for what I discuss!!!

    Let’s start by discussing the Wintertime Blues!!

    In general, it takes 20 minutes of direct sunlight that produces UVB rays to produce enough Vitamin D in the body. (This means outside not through a glass!!!) However, during the winter months for the population above Atlanta…

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Cat Litter & Relationships

Worth the read!

Teena Drake

How can cat litter and relationships be compared? If you are having trouble in your relationship, at this time, you do not want to miss this message.

Is your partner driving you crazy? Do you wonder why you even try? One thing is for certain if you are struggling…You are living in the Cat Litter Box with generic litter. You know the kind that does not cover up any of the smell and generic toilet paper is more absorbent than this bunch of rocks, you attempted to save a dollar bill on. (Pause…Take a big whiff, inhale, and smell the nasty litter you are using that is ineffective).

Living in the cat litter box with your partner is disgusting. It means that you take a poo, half way cover it up, allow them to do the same, and your smelly dance is never-ending. 

For example: If you are struggling…

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What If Selenium Does Prevent Cancer?

Research Has Been Done!!

Why Isn’t Anyone Screaming This?

 

Now, I don’t expect you to believe a word I say, I can only tell you the information based on what I have heard and read.

Let me just say, that it seemed to me all these pieces of a puzzle came together in my head all at once.  I kept hearing “Breast Cancer Awareness” Let’s fight Cancer etc.

Then, all these sad posts of people we all loved that had passed from cancer. For some reason, my mind begin to sift through information that I had put in there for over 30 years.

First piece, when I was in my 30s, I studied extensely the work of Edgar Cayce. In one of his readings for a client, He said, “Take 6 almonds per day to prevent cancer.”  Now, the premise of this is that almonds contain selenium which raises glutothione in the body.

Then, the video popped up on facebook of a doctor who was raging that Chemotherapy only works 3 % of the time. But, at the end of that video, the doctor says if women/girls would take just 200 mcg of Selenium per day we could reduce breast cancer 98%. I replayed that video over and over, to be sure I heard him right. On that day, I went to my cabinet dug out a bottle of selenium and started taking it. You see, my sister is a breast cancer survivor. So, that family history thing slapped me right in the face.

That video was done by Dr. Peter Glidden here is the link:Selenium Prevents Cancer?

I posted this video on Facebook twice!! I was an Oncology Nurse, I had to leave that position because of my ethical beliefs!! Pouring poison into people was not my cup of tea.

Okay, on to what happened next. All this information stirred what I had read over the years. I started pulling out books that I had referenced over the years. My Chiropractor L. E. Westall told me that using Selenium with Vitamin E would increase blood oxygen to the brain by 50 %. So, have been using that with my Aunt for her memory but not taking it myself.

In the book, “Prescription for Nutritional Healing” by Phylis and James Balch it clearly outlines research on Selenium. Stating that in one 10 year research on men, 200 mcgs of Selenium reduced the risk of cancer 50% for lung, prostrate and colorectal cancer. Right before that it has been found to function as a prevention for certain types of tumors.

In the book, “The Natural Pharmacy” Yet again there are research statements about Selenium preventing cancer. Now, Brazil nuts have selenium. So, if that is what you want to supplement with go for it.

I highly recommend you do not go crazy here. 200 mcg of Selenium is sufficient to supplement with. I don’t sell this product so don’t think I am sharing this for Monetary reasons. I will tell you where I get mine so if you choose to get high quality and less expensive you may purchase there.

I just know if you let the cows get out and then you shut the door of the barn, well that doesn’t help much. Let’s do some Cancer Prevention here, instead of watching this disease take over our lives!!

When I started as an RN 40 years ago, we saw 1 or 2 cases a year of cancer. I have been told 3 times in my life I have cancer. Of course, I pushed the doctors and found out the diagnosis was wrong. But, still the emotional trauma of hearing you have the Big C is devastating. Also, I lost 6 weeks of my life in 1994, mourning over the fact that I had breast cancer. After, visiting James Brown Cancer Center and finding out I had fluid filled cysts instead of cancer, I was a bit worn out with the diagnostics used. Oh well, that is another story!!

Just use this information if you want too!! I can’t make guarantees, but research goes back to the 1960s and yet no one is screaming this from the rooftops. Wonder Why?

 

Here is where I buy my Selenium and yes I am now taking one pill per day!! This is even a sale I found!! You can get other great vitamins there, but let’s work together to prevent a little cancer here!!

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 Have You Found a Way To Make a Difference In The World? Become a Part of Something Bigger Than You www.charlenekelley.com

 

 

 

Yes, this is your test…

Teena Drake

Sometimes life requires us to read signals. It is essential in developing relationships as well as recreating them. Listen to their body language, hear their sighs, I will say it again and again…Life is meant to be lived happy and your spirit will adjust and readjust to find your happy path or rainbow. Whatever it is that ‘makes’ you happy will appear and reappear almost like a hot fudge sundae or a camel ice cream.

I always think of this metaphor, I think that is what you will call it, but whatever it is, you let me know.

They say,

A grandmother’s love is an almighty powerful love like none other. If someone was harming your grandchild you would go through great lengths, climb the highest mountains and swim the widest rivers to protect them.

Now think of your spirit, it searches for joy, feeling good, laughter and ‘happiness.’ When…

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