All About Lola!!

                          My Divine Appoinment!!!

In my previous article, “A Divine Appointment”, I started the story of Lola, my divine appointment. Now, we begin with the rest of that particular Sunday.

Lola had entered into the chart room to have a cup of coffee with me. Not exactly, what we normally do. Most days were spent, encouraging activities of daily living. Remember, prior to her catatonic day, Lola had not allowed me to hug her. But, since that day, I hugged her quickly as I buzzed up and down the unit taking care of patients. When she had those severe manic episodes she would come to me for help. She didn’t have to grab me like she did the first day. I have to wonder that first day she grabbed me what she saw in my eyes or spirit. Maybe, she instinctively knew, I was there for her.

Communication with Lola was never of any depth like conversation only short simple requests and grunts. But, this particular day, she seemed different. She asked me, “What are you doing?” I had prepared her a cup of coffee, she was sitting there watching me chart.  She seemed lucid to me. A space, I had never seen her. She wanted me to talk with her.

I laid my chart down, and said “Lola, where are you from?” She said, I am from such and such town. I laughed loudly! “There is no! way you are from where I am from”, I said. Again, I said, “there is no way you even know where that is!!!!!”

She became quite loud, ” I am from there and I do know where that is!!!!

Please remember, I had read all of the medical archives on each of the 38 patients on the unit. Not anywhere in Lola’s chart did it speak of my hometown!!!! So I proceeded to explain to her why I thought that. She said, “But, I have only been in this hospital 8 years. Which explained, I had seen records for the last 8 years.

Lola began her story as perfectly clear as anyone ever tells there life story!!! I sat in awe!! You will too!!

Lola told me who she had married, and that she had 3 children. After, her 3rd child she had a hysterectomy. Then, she developed Bipolar or Manic/Depressive Disorder. I have to believe it occured by the sudden change in hormones and there was no therapy at that time. She said, her husband kept her home as long as he could, but when he couldn’t handle her, she was transferred to a Psychiatric Hospital.  Her medical records said she had become Lithium toxic so I guess that is the only treatment that was used at that time.  I was just a child at that time so I have no idea!!

Lola didn’t expound whether she had visits, but I knew of none in that last 4 months. She had been transferred to our facility 8 years ago, probably because of the bazaar manic episodes that I described in my previous article. Unlike anything I have seen before or since that time.

Just to test her, I began to ask who she would have known from my home. The oldest relative I had was a second cousin, that currently lived with my Mother. She was well into her 90s. Her eyes lit up and she said “Well, yes, I know her!!” I said to myself!! Yeah right!!

Lola said, “Let me tell you a story. I used to work with the local doctor when he delivered babies.”  “One day we went to a home, the lady delivered, and hemorrhaged. The doctor rushed in the room with the mother and left me in the kitchen with the baby on the counter.”  “The baby quit breathing!” “I didn’t know what to do, so I ran cold water in a bucket and dunked the baby in that cold water, she gasped and started breathing!!”

Even though this was a fantastic story, I am speaking with a woman who is never lucid. So, I guess I thought she was making this story up!!!

But, she proceeded to tell me that was my cousin’s niece who had the baby and the baby did live. She called the mother by name!!! All the time, I am thinking this cannot be!!!

The description of my hometown was very accurate. I did know the family she was talking about very well because they were my distant cousins. But, had never heard the circumstances about their only daughter who was handicapped but truly the love of their life. She lived in a wheelchair and probably had the mentality of an 8 year old all of her life. But, that was their baby!!! Lola was the reason their baby lived!!!

Here I am working in a basement, locked ward in a Psychiatric facility, 4 or 5 hours from my birthplace, listening to a story from a woman that definitely had been put in my life. I was in awe, still doubtful, but still astounded how all the circumstances of my life, had brought me right to her.

I wasn’t even sure this woman had children!!! So, we pulled her medical record, there were 3 people listed as her emergency contacts. I showed her, she proceeded to tell me the top one was her oldest daughter, the middle one was her second child, the last listing was a man,  she said that was her son. Since, I had never seen Lola have one truly lucid day since the 4 months I had worked with her, I asked, “Do you want to call your children?”

Lola was delighted!!  We started with the oldest, I made the call, explained in my most professional way, who I was and who was wanting to talk to her. She agreed to talk with her mother.  This lady sounded very old!!! I did not listen but a short chat then they hung up. Again, I dialed the second daughter answered, she sounded clearer and younger. They had a short chat!!

The final call did not go as well!!! I called the son’s number, explained who I was!! The gentlement, said, “My mother is dead, is this a joke?”  I responded, “Sir, this is no joke, your mother is sitting right here beside me.” Lola talked with her son, I guess for the first time in 28 years.  I may have messed up his world and not sure if he ever believed me, but I kept reminding myself, I am here for Lola!!!

Soon, after the phone calls, Lola silently, got up and left the nurses’ station. I was stunned from the events of the day and curious if this story were all true!!!

Christmas came and I headed to my Mom’s for our usual celebration. Everyone had left on Christmas Day to do something. I was sitting at the kitchen table with my elderly second cousin, who my Mom cared for in her home.

She wasn’t a chatty cathy type person so there was an uncomfortable silence before I could even get up the guts to ask the question.

I looked her and said, “Minnie, you know, I take my career very serious. I would never break confidentiality about a patient!!” She assured me she knew that. I explained that a patient had shared an unbelievable story with me I needed to validate it was true.  Honestly, I thought Lola had made the story up from her confused mind just to entertain me on that day.   Yet, I still wasn’t sure how she knew all about my hometown.

I conveyed the whole tale to Minnie.  She looked at me and said, “That story is absolutely true!! I didn’t even know Lola was still living. No sooner than I had gotten the story out of my mouth, the backdoor opened and in walked Minnie’s niece and with her the very daughter, in her wheelchair, that Lola had saved at birth.  They came to visit her Aunt Minnie on Christmas Day.  By now, I wandering around in my head going, really? This is too much to believe!!!

Later, I drew Minnie’s niece aside and relayed the story to her. She buried her face in her hands and just sobbed!!!  Through, her sobs, she said I thought Lola was dead. She excitedly stated I want to send her pictures of my daughter. I tried to explain that Lola barely was aware of her surroundings most days but I would try to explain if she sent them

2 1/2 months later, I walked onto the unit and the staff came running. Lola has had an aneurysm and is unconscious. The doctors gave her a very short time to live.  Cory and I suffered through the day, because yes, we both loved Lola. My shift ended at 3 pm, but I did not leave and neither did Cory. At 7 pm, that evening we both agreed we were doing nothing, Lola never woke up. She passed that night to her heavenly body.  28 years after entering an Institution, she had one lucid day to finish her work, and I was assigned to help her do that!!! The pictures of the woman she had saved as an infant came a week later. Of course, she would not have known who that was or remember she even told me the story. Because, she drifted off in her world right after she left the nurse’s station that day.

After my assignment with Lola, I fell in to a deep depression. I spoke with my Director and she assured me I was depressed. I can’t remember the names of the other patients because I was there for one. I left that hospital 4 months later. Care of the long term Psychiatric patient is hard because there is no hope!!! I admired the 5 CNAs who committed their lives to providing care on that unit. They were some of the best employees I have ever seen in all the years of working in Nursing.

I am not sure why I have been inspired to write this story at this time. I have had several sleepless nights about this. Maybe, Lola wanted her story told. Of course, the names have been changed and I left out locations on purpose. You can call this fiction that is fine!!! But, since that time, I am certain my life has been divinely guided!!!

One thing you need to know that I learned in training for my assignment on that unit. My Instructor said, “statistics show that only 20 percent of psychiatric patients are truly chemically ill. The rest can be helped,  if they choose, but some give up and choose that route. If this story helps one person to seek help, then it has been worth it to spend this day.  God Bless The Souls like Lola, who lived in a time, there was no medicine to help her.

 

 

I still help people look at my website: http://www.charlenekelley.com

 

PASSION

Passion is powerful.

Nothing was ever achieved without it.

And nothing can take it’s place

No matter what you face in life.

If your passion is great enough

You will find the strength to succeed.

Without passion, life has no meaning.

So, put your heart, mind and soul.

into even your smallest acts.

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Myself!!

The years I was Director at a Home Health Agency, I kept a motivational file. A collection of materials to share with the staff to keep them going. The other day I pulled that file out. It is full of Golden information. I found a poem that was given to me by one of the staff. Her grandmother had given it to her, which made her stop and think. I reread this and wanted to share it with everyone.

Myself

By  Edgar Albert Guest

I have to live with myself, and so,

I want to be fit for myself to know;

I want to be able as days go by

Always to look myself straight in the eye;

I don’t want stand with the setting sun

And hate myself for the things I have done.

I don’t want to keep on a closet shelf

A lot of secrets about myself,

And fool myself as I come and go

Into thinking that nobody else will know

The kind of a person I really am;

I don’t want to dress myself up in sham.

I want to go out with my head erect,

I want to deserve all men’s respect;

But here in the struggle for fame and pelf,

I want to be able to like myself.

I don’t want to think as I come and go

That I’m bluster and bluff and empty show.

I never can hide myself from me—

I see what others may never see,

I know what others may never know,

I never can fool lmyself– and so,

Whatever happens, I want to be

Self-Respecting and conscience free!!!!

I hope this helps everyone to look at themselves!!!

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DESTINY!!

“Destiny is not a matter of chance,

it is a matter of choice!!!

It is not a thing to be waited for

it is a thing to be achieved!!”

William Jennings Bryan

American Orator and Politician

What Is Your Destiny?  Will you choose to be a poor, hard worker for 40 years? 

Or will you learn new skills and strategy to live your dreams? Are you willing to develop yourself to live a better life, or resign to be in a rut? You know a rut is just a grave with no end!!!

What will you do?

Start now to learn a new strategy to build wealth!! With wealth comes more health, more freedom, more chances for happiness!!! Spend your time with the people you love doing things you want to do!!!

Start here and now, to learn and do something different with your life:

Start Now!!!!

Let’s Talk About Sex Baby!!!

Parents!!!! Sex is not a Secret!!! This book has been written by Teena Drake as a handbook for anyone dealing with children!!! This is the launch!!! It is a must read!!! You won’t believe how much students do not know!!!

I have an old saying,”When hormones kick in, the brain kicks out!!!

Mrs. Drake in her first year as 8th grade Science teacher,  learned that her students were terribly misinformed. In fact, several 8th grade girls became pregnant. No, they were not dating!!! The students were sharing information with each other, “Like if you jump up and down after sex you will not get pregnant!!” Well, that didn’t prove to be scientific!!

In the school system where Mrs. Drake was teaching “Sex Education” had been removed. Not that I think that it was totally adequate to teach children, it was better than what the students knew. The proper healthy emotional development starts at home. I know some parents are not prepared to be parents!! This book is for the responsible parent who wants their child to develop a healthy sense of themself!!! May I ask do not wait until they are grown and say, “I don’t know what I did wrong” It is the parent that needs to take responsibility if they are going to have kids. My daughter was 11 before I took parenting classes. She was out maturing me!!! Parenting is a roller coaster ride anyway, but I was an emotionally immature parent. How about you?

I went on to become a Registered Nurse. I have heard stories that would curl your hair!! LOL!!! Even with my education, I had many times that I found out my daughter did not have the correct information about her body and sex. However, she was not talking to me after puberty. I directed her to my friends that were health care professionals. Thank goodness she heard that part!!!

Parenting is the most important job any person will ever have!!! Sex education is part of that job!!!

It does not matter how innocent your child is, they are exposed to other people out there!! It is better for the parent/grandparent/caregiver of the child to start age appropriate discussions in a safe, loving environment. Please understand, do not wait until the hormones kick in around Puberty!! If you wait that long, the child feels embarressed and will not share what they already know or do not know!!! Start early, the child will get bored if you get too deep past their interest!!! Use this handbook to realize that kids are curious whether you tell them or not. You are not protecting them by bringing your own hangups into parenthood!!

Because of lack of the right information, we have children raising children!!! It’s hard enough to be a parent when you are mature. Then, I think the parent needs to be taking some parenting classes along the way. We bring our own issues into our family!!! If you have kids well, you probably had sex!!!

One thing I must add here, if you are not communicating with your young children, you are allowing them to be open to molestation!!! If they can’t tell you, will they tell if someone is inappropriate with them.

This is the first step, read the book. Mrs. Drake is willing to speak to groups about all she has learned at school and raising 4 children.

This book is only $10. It is already ready on Amazon. Soon, Kindle will have it.

Anyone, local can order directly from the Author and get a signed copy!!.If we ship, we will charge approriate shipping charge.  Mrs. Drake is on facebook and her email is teena.drake@gmail.com. Please put request for book in subject line!!! Books are in stock right now!!! So, get yours now!!!

 

Other adventures of Teena Drake!!! www.teenadrake.com

 

I Am Greatly Blessed!!!

I woke up today, that is a great blessing!!!

I can walk, talk, read and think!!! I am grateful!!!

I am surrounded by beautiful animals and people who love me!!! All who bring blessings and joy to me!!!

I have a fun and prosperous future to look forward too!!!

I have had many friends in my life!!! Some came and stayed, some have moved on!!!

Some friends have passed on, but am so grateful for what they taught me!!!

I meet new people everyday!!! I find joy in seeing what part they will play in life!!!

I have lived many years on this roller coaster of life!!! Boy, I have had fun!!! I have topped the hills screaming at the top of my lungs as the roller coaster started to plunge!!!

When the roller coaster brought me to the bottom, it soon leveled out again. I marvel at how fast time has spun by!!! It seems only yesterday that I did some things!!!

My Mother passed away last year!!! This is the first ever Mother’s Day without her!!! I was blessed she lived 95 years, 6 months and 6 days!!! She lived out her purpose in life. She touched many lives!!!

So, today, I realize I am blessed, cause I know I still have things to do!!!

I am greatly blessed because I am!!!  www.charlenekelley.com